Days of my week

On Mondays I no longer feel my form and begin to think of myself as a half-eaten biscuit- too sweet and all out of my crispiness- lying alone and trying to figure out the cosmic space above and beyond. The place where I work tells me that it is looking for a mature voice and no longer needs me. I tell the place, even when I'm old that white hair grows out of my nose- I'll still be a kid looking for a glass of milk. The place frowns and watches me sleep. 

Every day I'm big and small and big and take different shapes. On Thursdays you might see me as a sunbeam- bright and big- while on Fridays I become an old friend, the one you forgot to call but miss every day. Meet me soon, I say as you laugh at the failed possibilities of your promises and remember forgotten kisses on your cheek. On Tuesdays I live in memories- ones that haven't been made yet but you can somehow taste them. Am I sweet or do you wish to push me far far away?

On Saturdays I'm sleep-deprived and try to make sense of the abundance of time. Amidst the cold indivisibilities, I try to stick to the certainties. The smell of my hair, the bottle cap stuck under the fridge and my brother's resting head on the pillow remind me that beautiful things need not always be in motion. 

So, on Sundays I take a breath and smell the warm tea before tasting it, and stare at the wall for so long that it takes the shape of my face. I finally cut my nails and watch the girl on the screen scream from the rooftops as if entrusting everyone with her hate. I remind myself of the fire within me which burns brighter than everything else, whilst feeling powerful and sheepish at the same time. 

Another week awaits. 

And when I see the sun on Wednesdays, I'm suffused with the tenderness I feel when I get to hold the hands of the friends that I love. And I know you'll say that the world is so big and I'm so small, and sometimes it does gets scary because I get easily lost. But there are so many paths, so many days, and so many homes that I always end up belonging.