They were right, maybe honesty is the best policy

I was awakened by a call at 6:18 AM from my father a few days ago. He was leaving for work in the morning, for which he had to cover a distance of two-fifty kilometers, and wanted me to recharge the FASTag code for his car. For those unfamiliar with the concept, FASTag is a device through which you can make your toll payments directly from the prepaid account linked to it. It is a code that is affixed to your car’s windscreen and enables you to drive through toll plazas without stopping for cash transactions. Now, this may seem like a casual incident when you think about it. But it isn’t. My father- a senior government officer- can very much pass through these tolls without making eye contact with the person sitting inside the booth. All he must do is show his ID card or stick a blue beacon light atop his car. Again, it is a choice that he does not make. Instead, he chooses to be honest.

Now, this is a value that I try to imbibe in my life too. If I am not honest then there’s no point in communicating. I have been raised to exhibit honesty in everything I do. Whether it’s giving people constructive criticism or simply telling my mother the tea is too sweet- honesty comes naturally to me. It’s intrinsic, effortless, and calming. Like evenly spreading jam on toast. It is my core value and I wish to carry it forward in my professional life as well. There have been times when I’ve been called out for being horribly straightforward. I’ve been labeled as direct, bold, or simply rude. However, my incessant tendency to be the most authentic version of myself, makes me care very little about how others perceive me.

Nonetheless, there has been a time when I did not quite display this value to the best of my capabilities. A while ago a dear friend was unkind to me for various reasons which are not important here. They neglected my needs in our shared moments and forgot to address them. By some chance, they asked me later whether they had hurt me unintentionally. Instead of being honest about it, I sugarcoated my discomfort and told them it was fine. On the contrary, it was not fine at all. I don’t know why I wasn’t truthful to them, maybe lying and ‘quietly quitting’ the friendship seemed easier for me. Or maybe I just didn’t want to deal. Whatever it was, I wasn’t honest and I hated it. Today, the friend and I are no longer in touch and it feels liberating in more ways than others.

In the end, I know honesty brings me peace. I associate myself with it and bring it to the table wherever I go. It floats in the air and fills every room I enter. For now, however, I’m still learning to pay at toll booths and telling friends they need to do better.